My best character was being a victim, Life seemed to constantly happen TO me. I played the part of striving to please people and thus found myself easily manipulated. I was helpless and hurt and in my eyes, innocent. I cast myself as the pleasing victim and have played that role exceptionally well. I honestly think I deserve an Oscar!

Playing the Pleaser, I learned that I expected others to please me in return. Yuck! As much as I claimed others seduced and manipulated me, I was just as good at playing the Seducer and Manipulator. My relationships were difficult because I was difficult!

I recast my relationships by releasing the desire to please others and the desire for others to please me. I stopped paying silly compliments, and then I stopped wanting them or needing them. I watched my relationships mindfully and questioned my intentions often to ensure they were pure. My Victim and Villain characters were recast as Healed and Healer; Manipulated became Trusted; Pleaser became Responsible; Pleased became Reliable.

I find that after releasing my trauma-based intentions and simply moving with loving kindness, roles come more naturally to me each day. It's as if my heart is opening, and I'm becoming easier to be around. When my heart is open like this, life feels effortless and good-

I have found, through this process,  I am a TEACHER, and I yearn to share this SELF-moderating approach to well being with others.